18 May 2019

University: The End

I remember when I started uni, everyone said to me that it would flash by. I thought they were all just saying that. They weren't! The last year of my degree in particular really did fly by. 

It is a weird feeling being able to say: I am done. Since I do not plan on doing a masters or anything like that, I am done with education and am wandering into the big wide, adult world. That's kind of what I wanted to talk about. Everyone is always talking about what happens when you go to uni, or even during your time there, but not many people talk about the after bit. 

In all honesty, it's hard. 

I know going to university is a very personal decision, some people love it, some really hate it and some people decide not to go at all. Whatever you decide, remember, there is no right or wrong way to feel. It's all very personal, as is the way you might feel afterwards.

I for one really enjoyed my time. Perhaps because I did it on my own terms, rather than doing it the way I thought everyone did it. What I mean by that is that although I enjoyed being a student, I have never been one for clubbing and staying up until 4 am.  I never have been and probably never will. Yet, I have loved the past three years because I filled it with people, things and activities I liked. Because of that, I am struggling a lot more with leaving it all behind than I ever thought I would. It's the end of an era. 

I was incredibly lucky that I made some incredible friends for life (I know- super cheesy but very true). We became a little family, again, I know. It's all very cheesy but it's all very true. Let's just face the fact that there is a lot of cheese in this post. While you go to uni to get a degree, I have learnt so much more than just that. I've learnt to look after myself and to be independent. I've grown as a person, and I've learnt a lot about myself. 

I am struggling with the idea that this is the end of education and of the little bubble that comes with it all. While it's all very exciting, and I know I have an incredible year ahead of me (for which I couldn't be more excited), I am sad to leave this all behind. It's the end of an incredible turning point in my life. I'm also scared if I'm being perfectly frank. I am scared because I do not know where I will be in 18 months time. To me, that's incredibly daunting. 

Don't get me wrong, like I said, I am so blooming excited for what's coming up. It's just that I needed to adjust to life outside of uni more than I thought I would. My parents have been absolutely incredible and so understanding about it all, which makes it so much easier to talk about these thoughts and to know that it is normal to need time to adjust to it all. With that being said, it's so important to voice how you are feeling. 

While I know some people manage to go through the transition quite easily or are even happy to say goodbye to this period in their life, some of us are not. Myself included. This is something I think needs to be spoken about more. I know quite often people do not want to label it as depression, but it comes in different shapes, sizes and forms. Graduate depression is a very real thing, and you are not alone if you feel that you are experiencing some degree of it (pun was not intended but I'm not mad!). Be kind to yourself, allow yourself to feel these anxieties and know you are not alone in feeling this way. But also know that you will adjust and adapt, you just need to give yourself time. 



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